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The downfall of surprising your boss with a birthday lunch is that your boss doesn't know that she's supposed to come into the office on her birthday. I only brought an apple and crackers for breakfast, so when noon hit, my stomach hit back. At 12:45 p.m. a coworker announced, "We called her. She'll be in at two o'clock.” Surprise! Then I stapled my own stomach with a Bostitch. When my boss showed up, we took her to an English pub. I don't think my office is very savvy to foreign cuisine, because a coworker ordered fish and chips and when they brought him “fish and fries,” he was pissed. Want more proof? While eating leftovers for lunch one day, a coworker came into my office to ask what the smell was. I told her that I was eating pad thai. She said, “Bad thai? It smells like it.” And that is the reason why I hide in my office from 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m. every day; because I have nothing in common with the people that I'm forced to spend most of my time with. At the birthday lunch, the topic of Star Wars came up, specifically Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace, which one person incorrectly called “Star Wars: 1999” and then another person added the even more erroneous subtitle, “The Last Hope.” I'm not a fan of the series and even I was embarrassed listening to them talk about how “awesome” the movie was. They tried to remember the name of Natalie Portman's character, Queen Padme Amidala. After a futile attempt at putting “tip of my tongue” sounds together, one lady called her husband. He didn't know Padme's name either, but he offered to drive to Wal-Mart's action figure section to find out. Thank God the check finally came. A coworker put the meal on her company credit card because everyone felt that the company should pay for lunch, essentially making my boss pay for her own 60th birthday party. I was against the idea at first until I remembered that her birthday was also my one year anniversary with the company, which is like sixty in accounting years.
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