Every Easter Egg Dying Session

1) You start with a dozen boiled eggs and dye half of them solid for every color provided in the Paas kit.

2) You clue in to the fact that only six eggs are left undyed, so you take half of those and dye the tops of the egg one color and the bottom half another color. Unfortunately, despite all of your years on earth, you still haven't figured out how to hold a partially dyed egg without your fingertips mucking it up. Also, you're equally inept at getting the two colors to meet in the middle, so there's overlap.

3) You try to make the last three eggs really count by getting artsy and drawing on them with a wax crayon before dipping them in dye. Instead you break the shells of two eggs because you press too hard.

4) You say fuck it, because the last egg left undyed was the one that cracked while boiling. So you make it into a monster ugly egg with all dyes hideously represented. -- And that is the first one that you eat five minutes later.