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If my track record of yearly mottos has taught me anything, it's that anticipating the future is like driving with my eyes closed. Computers in the new millennium will fuck us over, a coin told me. Fingers Crossed 2000! Thank god boring ol' imagination will finally be extinct. Virtual Reality 1992! Sugar and spice, my ass. Cootie Shot 1985! However, I am pleased to announce that last year's motto, High Road 2006, was a huge success and has been extended to the new year. It works like this: whenever someone is being an arrogant crybaby, I give comeuppance by ignoring the desire to argue and instead shout, High Road 2007! I like to think it lets a person know that decapitation by way of a punch to the throat is a possibility, but that I'd rather create false memories of being the bigger person.
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