The 100% True Story of the ADT Security Technician
Who Came to Our House [get comfy]

“I'm Josh.”
“I'm Jay.”
“Give me all your money!” he said, followed with, “I'm just joking.”

Josh looked at the alarm keypad located next to our wet bar and let out a few cuss words. “Mind if I have a drink?” he asked. I said nothing. Again he responded, “Joking. We're not supposed to drink on the job, but whatever. I had one during lunch anyway. Am I not going to have a margarita at a Mexican place?!"

An irritated Patti slinked to the bedroom to not be in his presence.

“Do you know the band Oasis?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“You look like the lead singer. I don't know what the lead singer looks like, but you look like someone who would look like what the lead singer looks like.”
“Hey, Josh,” I said. “Do you have any user manuals for this system in the truck?”
“No, but it's online. I can show you the website.”

We sat in front of Patti's laptop in the living room and found the manual on the internet, but then Josh asked, "Can I see something on the computer?" Figuring that this something was company-related, I moved over and let Josh use the laptop. Half a minute later, he said, "Yeah, I haven't been able to use a computer for two weeks and I want to see what people are saying about my band's music at MySpace. I'm in a hip-hop band called The Krackaz...”

I apologize for not saying so earlier, but Josh is a white male in his twenties.

"…Isn't that cool and crazy? K-R-A-C-K-A-Z. People will be all like 'Have you heard The Krackaz?' That name is going to spread like wildfire. We wanted to be called The Niggaz, but we're white so...The Krackaz!"

Josh's wife called on his two-way for the second time and pouted, "Talk to me. I'm bored." So Josh did, about nothing in particular. Meanwhile, he called into work with the other hand. He literally had a phone pressed to each ear and yelled to one of them, "Why are you giving me attitude?" Then he hung up on both of them and fed me some carbon copies to sign. I wrote the fastest signatures of my life.

“Well, thanks for your help,” I said opening the front door.
“Alright,” he responded. “I'm going to look at MySpace in the truck since you have wi-fi.”
“It's password protected,” I told him.
Josh waited a beat to see if I would offer the password, but then said, “Word.”