Daisy always gets a bath before going to the vet. It's sort of like cleaning your house so the maid won't think you're a slob.

When I get out the dog shampoo, Daisy's head hangs low. And when I get a treat, she slowly walks to the tub and crawls inside without any help. Then comes the hazing! Dumping buckets of ice water on Daisy's head, just because.

Some people shy away from bathing their dog in a tub because of potential clogs, but I just apply Drano directly to the fur beforehand so it's not a problem. Rush Kappa Kappa Clean!

I dropped off Daisy for her appointment and the b-hole at Banfield asked what time I'd be picking her up.
I said, “Six.”
She said, “How about five-thirty?”
I said, “I get off work at five-thirty. I'll be here at six.”
She said, “Tell you what, make it seven. We're very busy at six.”
I'm like, “I know you will be, because that's when you'll be going into the back to get my dog.”

After waiting an hour and a half, I got Daisy back at seven-thirty. And she stank, no doubt due to further hazing while naked collar-less in a room of other dogs' poop. Not that that's cruel. She loves that shit. Sigma Nu'er for life.