“I say whenever anyone frets about the lawn, have a beer with Sarah Brown Lawn Care. You pay me to come over and drink beers with you on the porch. I'll even buy the beers which cancels you out. It's negotiable!"
– Sarah Brown of Sarah Brown Lawn Care

I took a vacation day from work so that I could landscape my backyard for the wedding. Unfortunately it rained so I spent the day getting tipsy and watching The View.

"Shut up, Meredith Vieira! You better recognize that it's the thought that counts or else I'm throwing my cocktail in your cathode-tube face."

I calmed down after licking my second drink off of the TV, and by my fourth vodka I was fairly confident that my coworkers devolved back into apes and tried to fix the crisis of the day by throwing a bone in the air.

"It's good to be king, Joy Behar. It's good to be king." [clink!]