My boss asked the new girl, "Where were you all day yesterday?" The new girl looked around and responded, "I was... here," because she was here, only my boss never noticed.

A few minutes later he asked me for Candace's last name. I had no idea who or what he was talking about. “Candace!” he said. “She used to work here.” I asked, “Do you mean Brandy?” He did, but let it go on record that her parents should have named her Candace.

This office is held together by chewing gum and any sudden movement will definitely require peanut butter in your hair.

Churchy asked for the web address of a company, and my boss replied, "I don't know. Google it." I swear to [his] God that Churchy admitted, "I don't know how to Google."