A food court employee stabbed a piece of chicken with a toothpick and pointed it in my face. I told her, “I don't eat meat,” which is a half-truth, but I didn't feel like explaining the plight of the pescetarian.

She snipped, “Fine! Don't get fat!”

Oh, great food court soothsayer, what else see you in the future for me? A conversation with movie references? Changing an outfit at the last minute? A salty snack?