I looked at a heat wave map and in the center of the hot spot was Oklahoma, cradled directly above Texas?! Is that right?! I thought Oklahoma was more north and maybe a little west, say, in the place of whatever that state is above Colorado. You know the one; it's the state equivalent of a middle child that no one thinks about.

Damn those cartographers for squashing the fantasy world I've created. I don't want to learn that Maryland isn't a giant colonial learning village where the residents play bootblacks and metal smiths. Or that North and South Dakota aren't in the shape of a penis and vagina.