Some people treat their body like a temple. I treat mine like a frat house.

Kristin bought us a coconut drinking cup. I thought it would be thematic and fun to drink margaritas out of it. Unfortunately, schools fail to teach you that coconuts can hold a gargantuan amount of margarita. I spent Monday at work with a thumbs-against-temples hangover. Sure, I could have taken a sick day, but I felt like I needed to show off my nausea to validate all those times I called in with fake illnesses. Like when I stepped on an anthill which prohibited use of my driving foot. Or when I caught chronic fatigue syndrome after volunteering at the old folks home.