Patti and I fly to West Palm Beach this weekend for Alexis and Blake's wedding, which means that we have to postpone settling into our new house until next weekend. If our plane crashes before I really get to live in this house, I'm going to be so pissed.

I asked Alexis where she and Blake were registered. She answered, “Crate & Barrel and Williams Sonoma.”
I said, “Aren't those, like, the same place?"
Alexis said, "No. Williams Sonoma has the knives I like."
I've got my fingers crossed that Alexis likes knives made out of plastic.

Also on the registry was a pizza wheel, which caused me to scoff.
“Do you even know what a pizza wheel is?” Patti asked.
”Shit yeah!” I said. “It's like a Lazy Susan that you put pizza on.”
“Uh. A pizza wheel is the circular cutter used to slice pizza.”
“Oh, okay! They make those out of plastic, right?”