Vacation: Memphis, Tennessee
January 25, 2007 - January 28, 2007
Day Two – January 26, 2007
8:49 a.m. - The heat works too well in our room. Even though the temperature is 29 degrees outside, I slept without any comforters or blankets. Anyway, we're up. I just pooped. Lady Awesome claimed she could "smell my stinky poop because it smelled like poop stink." She was lying, because I hadn't pooped at that point. But then I did poop and wiped until I felt a second wave of poop coming, so I had to wipe my butthole a second time. Then the bathroom really did smell like stinky poop.
5:15 p.m. - Busy, busy day. Ate breakfast at Daily Grind. Saw the shoe shine "man." Walked to Lady Awesome's conference. Saw sites like the Fire Museum. Met up with Conor. Ate lunch at Bon Ton Cafe ~ Holy crap! Bon Ton Cafe is the real deal, a diner with the perfect balance of quality, price, and atmosphere. I ate fried catfish, mashed potatoes, pinto beans, and cornbread for $8. Oh, and it came with the day's dessert: peach cobbler. The waitress was an old, weathered lady who has obviously been waiting tables her whole life. She kept calling Lady Awesome "baby." -- "Want more water, baby?" -- "I'll take your plate for you, baby." -- After that, we went back to the boring ol' conference. From what I can tell, social psychologists (as a whole) are nerdy and like to wear black. I'm glad Lady Awesome is a black sheep in that world. Shun those dullards, Lady Awesome. Shun away!
We met up with John and visited the quite impressive Rock n' Soul Museum. They don't allow photography, but I managed to snap a photo of Elvis' jumpsuits for April. I really wanted to take a picture of the original handwritten lyrics to Suspicious Minds, but I was too scared. My favorite exhibit was a radio excerpt from a black radio station in the 1950's where the DJ asked listeners to find a guy's false teeth. No jumpsuit can compete with missing dentures.
Then we watched the ducks at the Peabody Hotel march from the lobby fountain into an elevator so they can go to their duck mansion on the roof. It confirmed my suspicion that ducks are ungrateful creatures and that kids need to get the fuck out of my way and stop staring at me with their rude little eyes.
6:45 p.m. - I just woke up from a long, deep nap. My throat is dry which isn't important. I got sweet kisses from Lady Awesome and now I'm wondering why there's a chunk of wallpaper missing from the corner of the room. I have to meet people for dinner in (now) six minutes. That's going to be difficult so those people should just join me in bed until I'm ready. Actually, I'm kind of hungry, so I'm ready. I hope this place has water and booze.
2:00 a.m. - The first bar that we went to was our hotel bar. We were the only white people amidst a sea of black 50-year-olds. They were dressed up in Bill Cosby sweaters, vinyl pants, and Fedoras. I really dug the tunes and dug the booze. It was a great time.
After that we went to a bar/lounge/dance club called Hollywood Raiford's Disco. Pretty spectacular place. John's cab driver suggested it. The DJ played Prince's "Pussy Control" twice during the two hours that we were there. I think it was the club's anthem because our waitress lost her shit every time. It was a place like no other. I played a drum kit a lot and sucked really bad at it. Luckily, people were too drunk to care. The music was loud as shit. Shit's not that loud, I now realize, but the volume at this place melts earwax.
