Vacation: Budapest, Bratislava & Prague
April 19, 2006 - May 1, 2006

Day Two – April 21, 2006

4:30 a.m. - I'm sure it's the jet lag, but Lady Awesome and I are up very early. It's a sweet kind of early. The city isn't awake yet. We just keep looking out of our window at the lone strangers walking in the cold. The metro buses, however, are packed and lights are turning on at the residences across the street. Equally refreshing is that for the first time in a week my throat pain is at bay. I guess I should have taken two Bayer aspirin sooner. That shit really works.

10:30 a.m. - The metro was not nearly as intimidating as the movie Kontroll made it out to be. In fact, I'm envious. The subway cars are cute and small, not unlike Mr. Roger's trolley. They also come within a couple minutes of waiting (Are you listening, MARTA?) We took the yellow line to City Park, the location of the Szechenyi Baths. Goodness. That place. Woo! It's a natural hot spring bath with an enormous and gorgeous structure built on top of it. You feel like royalty using it. The temperature of the hottest pool is 38 degrees Celsius, or 100 degrees Fahrenheit for your mile-loving Americans. It feels as hot as a freshly drawn bath at home, but theirs is huge, has jets, bubbles, and old men playing chess in the middle. There was also an old woman who looked like the hag/young woman in the famous optical illusion. The cabana guy told me I couldn't take any pictures, so I just waited until he turned his head. We walked through City Park and took the train back where a passenger drank 500 grams of milk from a carton. Jesus, I love Budapest and Hungarians... except for that security guard at Match Grocery who accused Lady Awesome of shoplifting. That guy can suck it. We had no idea what he was saying, but I'm fairly sure it went something like, "I am a butthole and I am sorry to waste your time. Might I offer you my crotch to kick?" Other than that scene I'm appreciative of people's acceptance of our English. The listeners may not understand us, but at least they're smiling back.

4:30 p.m. - Just woke up from a deep nap. Lady Awesome is showering and I'm watching a dubbed Knight Rider episode. The Hungarian voice of Michael Knight sounds gay and K.I.T.T. sounds super macho. That show has lost nothing in the translation.

11:50 p.m. - We walked a lot. Across a couple of bridges to a huge touristy building. I'll be honest, I have no idea what it was, but it closed minutes after we arrived so we went to a bar and had some wine and whiskey. Tomorrow we will make up for lost time by going to castles. No naps. They are our enemy!

Day Three – April 22, 2006

2:00 p.m. - We had a bit of a late start. I guess drinking Gosser, Dreher, Johnnie Walker, Tullamore Dew, and red wine the night before will do that to you. Breakfast at Bon Cafe was the same as dinner at Bon Cafe. Lady Awesome bought her beloved shoes that she's been drooling over for the past two days. Mailed some postcards and saw Buda Castle (the touristy building we couldn't get into last night). Underneath lies an enormous labyrinth  that was once used as a torture chamber. It looked like Pirates of the Caribbean and Tom Sawyer's Island had a baby. I loved it. Lady Awesome, however, got creeped out. Something about how people were tortured there.

9:00 p.m. - We ate a fancy dinner at the Astoria Hotel. I had tuna and swordfish on mixed greens. Lady Awesome had salmon with spinach and potatoes. The total bill came to 6,500 Forint ($30 USD) and that's considered very expensive. Now we're back in our room and some boorish Americans are staying two floors under us and yelling off of their balcony, so I might leave to get a half litre of beer.

12:00 a.m. - I drank a half-litre of Gosser and a half litre of I forget. Lady Awesome cut loose and had a shot of Bailey's and a piccolo of I forget. The drunk Americans (aside from us) have thankfully stopped yelling. That's good because we've got a train to catch in the morning. -- P.S. The radio at the bar we went to played Ghostbusters and The Power of Love. 1986, Budapest has got your back.

Read Days Four, Five, and Six of Sir Awesome's Eastern Europe Review