Things We Hate, Vol. 5
by Sir Awesome & Sarah Brown
You know what I hate? When you have to pee real bad, but you don't, because you are rushing to get other stuff done. But really you're just rushing because you have to pee real bad.
You know what I hate? When your mom confuses you with some other person, or you have to remind her EVERY TIME that you hate onions. Dude, she's a mom. I'm her firstborn. She needs to remember that I hate onions. That's just basic shit right there.
You know what I hate? When someone is walking one direction but their head is turned the other, and you just know that whichever way you decide to pass them they are going to run into you.
You know what I hate? When you're tearing something along a perforation, like a check, which should be a dream to tear, and instead it gets off track and you rip the paper!
You know what I hate? When people refer to food as fuel. As in: “It's Lunch time. Gonna go fuel up on some tuna salad.” Me, too, buddy. So I can have the strength to punch your fuel mouth.
You know what I hate? When women wear a turtleneck, and then pull their necklace out from under the inside of their shirt so that it dangles, no, so it WATERFALLS over the rim of their turtleneck. What are they, some kind of dicks?